Safety
For our community, being found by the wrong person can mean harassment, stalking or being outed. Hot Mess is built so you choose who sees you, and so the people who cross the line lose access.
Hot Mess is more than a list of bars. A venue shows who is in the room, who is singing tonight, which friends are there and who is heading over. Put together, that says where to find queer people at a given time.
So all of Hot Mess sits behind a free account. Signing in asks for almost nothing (Sign in with Apple can even hide your email), but it makes every block, ban and report count. Someone who has been removed can't just sign out and keep watching.
The same goes for the people who make the night. Drag performers, DJs and karaoke hosts share where they will be with their community, not with the whole internet. When a community bans someone for harassing a host, that person loses the host's schedule too.
Membership is free, and it can be taken away. That is what our Terms are for.
Everyone confirms they are 18 or older and agrees to our Terms before they can sign in. The Terms have zero tolerance for objectionable content and abusive people, and everyone agrees to the chat rules before their first message.
Names come from your Apple or Facebook account, so nobody can make one up. People who are not your friends only see your first name and last initial. Your friends see your full name.
A venue’s chat opens only for people in the room, so the conversation stays with the crowd you can see. Members only see the last 24 hours of a chat.
Press and hold any message, or open the ••• menu on a profile, venue, Ping or photo, and tap Report. Our moderators are alerted right away and act within 24 hours.
Blocking someone takes effect at once and works in both directions: neither of you sees the other’s messages, presence, Pings or whereabouts. They are not told. You can unblock people under Me > Blocked People.
Venue staff can ban someone who caused trouble there, and that venue, its events and its chat disappear for them. Moderators can ban a person from the whole community, which locks them out of chat, sign-ups and cover.
Messages, Ping notes and comments pass through a content filter on our servers, and objectionable text is refused before it reaches anyone.
Me > Delete Account deletes your account and its data. No email, no waiting period.
In an emergency in the US, call 911. For a mental health crisis, call or text 988. LGBTQ+ young people can reach The Trevor Project any time at 1-866-488-7386.
Hot Mess is not an emergency service. Venue staff can help with problems at their venue, and you can report anything in the app.
Read the full rules in our Terms and Privacy Policy.